What Tony found out....

So what was it that was so big and scary that I had to stop talking just now ? In my view, something that makes the assassination of JFK seem like small beer - and what's more, something that someone can actually do something about.

I know what the rules are for Gods and mortals and this one breaks almost all of them at once.

The only question for me is whether I tell about it - go public, in other words, or whether I use what I know to make them do the right thing without the shame of the public knowing what they get up to.

Either way, my relationship with Aphrodite won't ever be the same, and going back downstairs will be different because Mr H is in it up to his neck, and he won't be best pleased with me whatever I do, plus there's a couple of other gods who might have it in for me a bit more than they have now, and they aren't the sort of gods you really want to piss off too much. So what do I do ?

If I tell you what I know, maybe you could tell me what I ought to do next - you know, some sort of popular vote, like on reality TV, only where the vote tells me what people want me to do about it. So let's go with that for now - whether I consider myslef bound by your decision is, at this point anyway, up to me.

So - here goes.

One day, when we were resting after a bit of a frolic (a romp, the tabloids would call it) Aphrodite's mobile goes off. Normally she just switches it off, but this time she was asleep and it went through to voicemail - and for some weird reason, her phone was on speaker so I could hear every word. It was Artemis, and she was asking her, first of all, how things were going, whether she was still enjoying having me around, and saying that if she'd got fed up of me, to pass me on to her - she could think of a few things she'd like to do before she let them kill me again. Like I said, irresistible to the opposite sex, and sometimes I wish I wasn't. I want someone to actually like me for who I am rather than just that face and body, but enough of my problems.

She went on to gloat about how everything had gone OK with the "mission" she'd been asked to do - how it had all gone according to plan and that she had heard (and I quote) "the son of that bitch Calliope" was wishing he'd never been born - his girlfriend was dead as a doornail and couldn't be rescued again and he thought it was all his fault. And she laughed about that - the poor sap, she said, he hasn't got a clue, has he ?
She asked Aphrodite to get back to her about things when she had a minute and hung up.

Now I know my nymphs ( I know quite a lot of nymphos too, but this bit is just about nymphs) and I knew all about what Calliope had done - after all, she was the reason I was able to spend two thirds of my time up here and only one third down there, so I was a bit intrigued as to what might have been going on here.
I knew Aphrodite wasn't that keen on her, she'd wanted me up here the whole time, and that Ares was well pissed off because he wanted me down there the whole time - well, away from his other half anyway, which was why he'd killed me himself.
I also knew that Mr H wasn't too pleased either, because he'd wanted Lady P a bit more to himself - well, to start with, anyway, and Lady P had wanted me there more of the time, and one third wasn't really enough for her, so I knew she hadn't made any friends with the gods.
From her point of view it was always going to be a no-win situation for her, let's face it.

But what was all this about her stitching up her son and killing his girlfriend ? You could understand the revenge aspect of it, but who were they ?

It didn't hit me at first, I just thought it was a bit odd, felt sorry for whoever it was, since Aphrodite and Artemis between them would do a good job on fixing things - they would certainly stay fixed. Then I had a rather nasty thought - I had a feeling I knew who her son was, so I asked around a bit, as you do, and found out that Calliope's son was called Orpheus. Immediate alarm bells. I know it's not a common name, but there could be more than one, so I checked a bit more, and found out that it was that Orpheus, Eurydice's Orpheus.

Then it really did hit me - something seriously dodgy had been going on, and because of it, Eurydice was really dead. And that wasn't right, not in my book, not something she deserved, Godesses ganging up on her. So I decided it was time to find out what had really happened - do the detective bit - while keeping myself out of it, so that I could live to tell the tale as it were - when gods have got it in for you, they usually manage to get you eventually - the trick is to stay alive as long as possible and make them cheat, make them break the rules in an obvious way so you can keep yourself alive and intact. I know it was something I hadn't done very well myself, which was why I was here, but I needed to do it for her - she hadn't got anyone else who knew enough to sort it out.

Him ? Waste of time. Last thing I heard, he was off wandering in the north, Thrace or somewhere like that, playing sad songs to whoever would listen, and that he really, really had it in for women - telling blokes not to get involved with them - not exactly a smart move, in my opinion, only lead to trouble, but you could understand it - he was badly hurt by it all and didn't have the strength to fight any more.

So it was down to me - and I knew something secret that could blow everything to bits.
Now all I had to do was follow up the story and ask Aphrodite some innocent questions - then I've got the real problem of deciding what to do next.....