So What's going on up there then?

Been up there to have a look. Had to come back down here though, because I was in danger of getting seriously upset again and I might have been tempted to kill someone. Not sure if I can do that, being dead myself, but I certainly would have tried. I'll give you two guesses as to who, and the second one doesn't count. If you don't get it first time, just forget it. I won't even say - it's so obvious.
So there they both are, round at his place, talking about me and him and me and death and him and life and her and life and how her husband doesn't understand her and how she can't wait for him for ever.
Like she's tried waiting! She's had more boyfriends while he's been away than you could count on the fingers of ten hands. So I'm thinking - nice one - there you are making a big play for him and I'm barely cold enough to put in the fridge on a hot day. And as for him, well he's beginning to weaken, I can tell. She's getting closer and closer to him all the time - and what makes it worse, she's dressed herself up to look like me - same style of clothes, same hair, same make-up, she's even pinched my perfume, the cow! Although she does look quite a bit older, if I may say so - well, she is, but it's still quite creepy. Like looking at yourself in twenty years time. Brrr!
If he offers to sing for her, then I'll swing for both of them - that's a promise.
She's telling him that he needs something more stable, more steady, less flighty and fickle - does she mean me, the cow ? How dare she !
An older woman she says, someone who's lived a bit and knows what's what. Oh yeah, I think - what's what ? Like what if her homicidal husband comes back from beating up the Cyclops and fighting off nymphs and stuff like that ?
If he knew what was happening, they'd both be down here with me - and quickly - and he wouldn't be able to rescue me at all - unless he learnt how to sing with his head attached to the wrong end of his body. That's what's what if you ask me.
It's at this point I have to go back down before I end up doing something I might regret. Something that might disturb things, something that might make them think I'm not quite dead yet, and that would be against the rules. And I'd end up in big trouble. Which is kind of ironic - how much more trouble can you be in than being dead ? But that's how this place gets to you - you start following rules made for dead people, even when you don't really think you are.
So while I'm on the way down, I get an idea about what I need to do. Well a couple of ideas actually, but let's put first things first - I need to get him to wake up and realise what he said he'd do, then get his act together and get down here and rescue me. Now.
Slight problem though - because I'm dead, I can't just turn up out of the blue, have a little chat with him, and point out that he did promised to come and fetch me from down here if I died, that I think he meant it, and that now I am actually dead and so what is he waiting for. Well I could, but I'm told that's against the rules too.
So how do I get round it ? I need to make him think about me and how he needs to rescue me from down here, and to do that, I need to talk to him or at least show up somewhere he is, to make him realise. Now I know that some people do see ghosts and spirits and stuff and that sometimes they have dreams where dead people speak to them, so maybe that's a possibility. I think that might work, if I pitch it right. So that's the new plan.
But how do I actually make it happen - I don't know what I'm allowed to do without them stopping me. I'm obviously going to have to have a quiet word with the man down here and see how it all works. So I go round to the office. His secretary says I need to make an appointment, but when she asks, it seems as if he want to see me too, so I get to go straight in.
We have a chat and he seems sympathetic - says he understands how I feel - I tell him what I want to do and he says that, as far as he can work out, the rules say I can appear in a dream once or twice without causing too much bother to the custodians of deathness upstairs. So that's what I decide to do. While I'm doing that, I reckon it would be worth getting a message to Penny's other half that she's got a toyboy (yet another one) and is messing around (again) while hubby's away. That could be very interesting - let's wait and see what that stirs up.
So the dream stuff - what am I going to tell him? Plan A, now that I've found out a bit more about how this place works, I reckon if I make out that I'm heading for Tartarus, and pretty soon, because I've been such a bad girl, it might just shake him up enough to set off and save me from all that pain and torture. It'd better.
The other option, Plan B, is to suggest that I'm having fun with dead people - got a boyfriend down here - on the basis that it might make him jealous enough to come and get me to stop anything happening. Personally, I think Plan A is more likely to work - guilt, considering what he's up to right now, will probably be much better motivation for him. It would do for me. On the other hand, if he thinks I'm having a good time, he might just cave in to Penny and leave me to get on with something that isn't actually happening because he'll think I'm OK really, that I'm just doing the same as him, only with dead people, and that he's OK to do what he likes because of it. So that's decided then. Guilt. Big, heavy guilt.

So now I have to make another decision - do I do it all in one go, get really heavy with him - or do I spread it out over a couple of nights, build it up, take my time and see what happens.
There's also the question of how to get in touch with Penny's bloke to let him know what she's really up to while he's away, and that's going to take a bit of working out too. For a start, you've got to find out where he is - which isn't easy, believe me. She obviously doesn't know where he is, and you get the impression that half the time, he doesn't know where he is himself - except not where he's supposed to be.
While I'm in the middle of all this planning, I get a message from Tony the special counsellor saying that he expects to see me first thing tomorrow. So that's another decision made for me. It's got to be tonight. I vote for serious overkill on one night. Let's go.Let's shake him and shock him. Let's shake both of them and shock both of them. What have I got to lose, after all ?