The Power of Suggestion

You'd think it was easy to appear in a dream, wouldn't you. You're dead, you want them to remember you, you turn up, mutter some sweet nothings or some home truths and that's it.
But no. I can't believe how bureaucratic it all is. It seems that to do it within the rules, you have to submit a script - including what you're hoping to get out of it - to the custodians of deathness, so they can say whether or not you can do it.
If they say no, you have to rewrite it and try again.
And guess what - they don't like either of my scripts. They tell me I'm being unfair to them up there - that making people feel guilty is a "bad thing" ( that's part 1) and that trying to get someone killed (or several people) by making someone else angry is another bad thing, in this case a "very bad" thing ( that's part 2).
They tell me I'm only doing it out of revenge, which is not an "appropriate emotion for a dead person" and that I need to be more prepared to come to terms with things - accept my passing - and try not to cause problems for those who knew me who are still alive - apparently they must be traumatised enough by losing me, so they don't need to be reminded of me and made to feel worse. It's not fair on them. And so they refuse permission. Crap. What about not being fair on me ? So now what ?
I can either become all pink and fluffy and girly and not bother to say a thing or I can ignore it and just go ahead anyway.
So I work it out - if I do that and it doesn't work, and he doesn't come and rescue me, I've got really big problems because I will have "broken the rules" , but on the other hand, I don't want to spend any more time down here than I have to. No way.
It isn't really a choice is it? Pink and fluffy I'm not. I might have given that impression, and girly I might be on some things, like spiders and stuff like that, but underneath it all I'm hard as nails. When I want to be. Well, maybe.You can make your own mind up on that one.

So I'm going to go ahead with both of them in one night. Break all the rules and just do it. Patience? tried it - hasn't got me anywhere - so what's the point ? I'm going to just do it. Well, honestly, what choice have I really got ? I've got to do them both - and quickly or I'll get stopped by the death police before I can do either of them. They know what I was planning to do, so I've got to be careful.

So which one first ? My first thoughts are that it's probably easier to do Penny's bloke - it seems pretty straightforward - although now I come to think about it, he doesn't know me. Hasn't ever met me. So why would he believe me? A lot's going to depend on how suspicious he is. The impression I get is that he does trust her quite a lot - well, so she says. Mind you he is, as I've said before, no paragon of virtue himself. Makes up a lot of stories, if you ask me, to try to cover his tracks while he's busy having it off with all and sundry on his travels. So whatever I do has got to be credible. And make him jealous. That might not be easy without really good evidence, which I don't have. Have to think about it. Maybe leave that one for a bit.

So then I think that maybe it would be easier to sort my bloke out first - at least I know what presses his buttons, and I do know what I want him to do.It might be easier to start there. Get my ideas together and let's go. No messing. Guilt-trip and rescue, here we come.
I'd got it all worked out, including all the sobs, tears, moans and whimpers. So I go into his room. Oh my God - that wasn't what I expected - I may be too late. I thought I was going to be playing for an audience of one, but he's not alone. She's there with him. I'm thinking, you bastard, how could you ! Lonely and sad I could understand, but lonely, sad and screwing someone else is another thing altogether.
This is now so much more difficult - and not just because I'm furious with him. I'm really hurting about this. It's just not fair - I can feel a lump coming in my throat - like I'm about to burst into tears - and so I think I can't have that, I've got to do this and get out, then I can cry in peace if I want to, and work out how to get revenge on her for this. So, let's look at what I've got to do now - I either need to appear to two people at once or I've got to work a lot harder on him to make him feel a lot worse. His ego's just had a bit of a boost with her throwing herself at him - so now he's got a level of immunity to me there already.
Mind you, on the other hand, the footage of the two of them together should play pretty well with plan 2 - the stuff for her bloke. Don't need to allude or hint now - I've got concrete evidence for that one. Pity that's less important to me personally than getting him to fetch me back. And when he's done that, he'd better watch it - I don't go for infidelity, so he'll have some explaining to do anyway. And more than just explaining too.
I decide I've not got enough energy to work both of them - well, not in one night anyway. If I survive this one, she's got screaming nightmares for at least a month. Or maybe a year. I can guarantee that. She deserves it. Oh yes, in fact I'm really looking forward to that!
But I do need to really get to him. So back to what I'd rehearsed - pain, suffering, wailing - I think that's what will work on him, he always has been a bit of a wuss - but I've got to add a bit more drama now - so I appear, in my wedding things, the things he buried me in, crying and wailing and begging him to save me from the monsters that live in tartarus - and I've got the chains, fires and sharp instruments all there for him to see, and I show him what they'd do to me there unless he comes and rescues me. And I pretend they've already started on me. And then I cry some more. And I say something like if it hadn't been for those snakes I'd still be there and that I'm so lonely without him, and he must be missing me too...like he is !! Someone said I was a good actress - so I give him the performance of my life ( so far).

To give him credit, he does wake up with a start in a cold sweat, and starts talking to himself about it. Not happy talk, either. And then she wakes up too, because he has, and he's talking to himself, and she asks him what the matter is.
He tells her thinks he's made a big, big mistake - a really, really big mistake - and asks her to please forgive him, but he really shouldn't be there with her - he was just trying to forget his pain and now he knows that he can't live without me. It was all a big mistake. Well, that's OK for starters in my book. Exactly what I wanted to happen - except without having to explain it all to her, that is.
So then she gets all tearful, and says she hopes that she hasn't upset him too much and that she always thought it might be too soon, she was worried that he wasn't ready to let go and move on yet, but that the moment seemed to be right when it happened. She's conveniently forgotten about the fact that she was trying it on, pretending to be as much like me as she could, and she's forgotten the wanderer and that she's cheating on him, but that's how she is, I guess.
If it wasn't about me, I'd almost feel sorry for them both. A real mix-up of emotions and all. Anyway, she gets dressed, gets her things and goes - asks him to call her if he needs her- says she hopes they can stay friends, even though this has happened. That's even better. No chance if I have my way, you manipulative cow.
So there he is, finally remembering at last what he promised he'd do, looking at my photo, getting all upset, telling himself he's got to do it and that he's got to start packing for a journey. A long, long journey. Yes ! Result ! And he does start packing. Reckon it's time for me to go. Job Done.

So now I have to decide whether I do part 2 as well? Have I got the energy ? Do I really need to do it right now ? I decide that that's enough for one night. So I've broken the rules once. Either he'll turn up soon to rescue me, in which case the powers that be can do f all about it, or I'll have another shot at it later. We'll see what happens tomorrow. Time for me to get some sleep - if I can forget about what happened up there - it still really hurts, so I can cry myself to sleep. I know he won't be sleeping much for ages, and for some reason that makes me feel a bit better.