The story continues

So where were we - oh yes, Hades telling me what the deal was.
What he said was, if you want to play this properly, there's a bit of a risk - how sure are you that he'll actually deliver? I said I didn't know for sure, so he said, listen kid, I'll cut you some slack on this - just in case. Don't want you ending up dead over some dickhead who only says things for effect. It's obvious you're really into him, so let's set this up so it should work, I guarantee if he doesn't show, that you get to go back and can take the piss out of him for being chicken and full of shit, but if he does show up, we've got to do a proper test. Is that Ok ? Like a fool I said it was. So he says this is the real deal - you have to be dead or at least he has to believe it - otherwise he won't show. I wouldn't recommend getting hit by a bus or anything like that - makes a right mess of you, and I can't guarantee you'll get fixed up when you get back. Try getting bitten by a snake or something - quick, fairly painless and treatable - you don't look too bad when you're dead - well, no worse than the average supermodel anyway, and if you get the right sort of snake it might not really kill you anyway. Try a viper or something - they listen quite well and often miss on purpose.
The next bit is to decide the test - I reckon that if he shows up it'll be a surprise, so let's be prepared for it. If he doesn't show at all, you win, and I let you go back - no questions - OK ? So I said yes, that seems fair. So he says you don't really trust him, do you, so the real test is trust, right ? And I say Ok, that makes sense. So he says, right, this is the deal. First off, he's got to do his charming wild beasts stuff with me. If he's good, we move on to phase2, otherwise I feed him to the guard dog and you have to stay here with me. Do you reckon he could do that ? Is he good enough? So I say I reckon he is - and watch the eyebrow raise slightly - but that's all - and we agree that's what happens. So the next stage is deciding the trust test. Because I don't really trust him, that's obvious. So Hades says - what about this - he's got to trust that you are going to follow him back out of here without looking back to check. That's real trust in you and a good test. So I say, no funny business about screaming "Behind You" or stuff like that and he says OK - so we agree it's a deal. If he makes it all the way back without looking over his shoulder once, then it's all OK - otherwise I have to stay here and suffer whatever the man downstairs wants. Hope he's up to this - having serious doubts about the deal, but I've got to know he trusts me - mind you, he probably won't show at all, so I get back anyway. Chances are, I'll get to laugh at him, the big wuss. So we shake on it.
Now all I've got to do is find a willing venomous reptile. Easy or what.

To be continued......possibly in a different voice....